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What's Wrong With This Picture?
- He has no jacket at the table.
- He's reading a newspaper.
- He must be a bad father.
No where was a man's breeding or lack thereof more
on display than at the table. While some rules seem
a bit quaint, most 19th Century table manners would
not be out of place today. People still don't like it
when you slurp your soup, or spray food when you talk. |
| "Nothing indicates a well bred man more than a
proper mode of eating. A man may pass muster by dressing
well, and may sustain himself tolerably in conversation;
but if he be not perfectly "au fait", dinner
will betray him." |
| Hints on etiquette
1836 |
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| "The home where table etiquette is ignored
rears the ill-bred child" from "Correct
Social Usage" 1903 |
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Manners aside, all was not well at the American table. Numerous commentators
noted the absence of the husband from the domestic table, American's
refusal to carry on friendly conversation while eating, and a tendency
to eat rapidly and get the job of eating over as soon as possible.
It was little wonder that dyspepsia (indigestion) was considered an
epidemic among American men.
| A Few Rules |
- Do not play with the table utensils or crumble the bread.
- Do not put your elbows on the table, or sit too far back,
or lounge
- Do not talk loud or boisterously
- Be cheerful in conduct or conversation
- Never, if possible, cough or sneeze at the table.
- Never tilt back your chair while at the table, or at any
other time.
- Do not talk when the mouth is full
- Never make a noise while eating
- Do not open the mouth while chewing, but keep the lips
closed. It is not necessary to show people how you masticate
your food.
- Never indicate that you notice anything unpleasant in
the food.
- Do not break your bread into the soup, nor mix with gravy.
It is bad taste to mix food on the plate.
- Never leave the table before the rest of the family or
guests, without asking the host or hostess to excuse you.
- Eat soup with the side of the spoon, without noise.
- The fork is used to convey the food to the mouth, except
when a spoon is necessary for liquids.
- Raw oysters are eaten with a fork.
- If you wish to be served with more tea or coffee, place
your spoon in your saucer.
- Tea or coffee should never be poured into the saucer to
cool, but sipped from the cup.
- If a dish is presented to you, serve yourself first and
then pass it on.
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Rules of Etiquette and Home
Culture, 1886
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- Never allow butter, soup or other food to remain on your
whiskers
- Never wear gloves at the table, unless your hands are
for some special reason unfit to be seen.
- Never, when serving others, overload the plate nor force
upon them delicacies which they decline.
- Never make a great display when removing hair, insects
or other disagreeable things from your food. Place them
quietly under the edge of your plate.
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Hill's Forms
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- Eat Cheese with a fork, not a knife
- Ask a servant in a low tone for what you want
- Break your bread, do not cut it.
- Eat fruit with silver knives and forks
- If you prefer, take up asparagus with the fingers. Olives
and artichokes are always so eaten
- If a course is set before you that you do not wish, do
not touch it.
- It is not your business to reprove the waiter for improper
conduct; that belongs to your host.
- A gentleman must help a lady whom he has escorted to the
table, to all she wishes; but it is improper for him to
offer to help other ladies who have escorts
- Use a napkin only for your mouth. Never use it for your
nose, face or forehead.
- It is very rude to pick your teeth at the table. If it
becomes necessary to do so, hold your napkin over your mouth.
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Rules of Etiquette and Home
Culture, 1886
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| "At a sign from the hostess, the ladies all rise from
the table, and repairing to the drawing-room, leave the gentlemen
to their own devices. But it is a healthy sign that the gentlemen
soon follow them. In France the gentlemen and ladies all leave
the dinner table together, as indeed they do here, at an informal
or family dinner." |
Polite Society at Home and
Abroad, 1891 |
| "In America, with the exception of dancing, which is
almost wholly confined to the unmarried of both sexes, all the
enjoyments of the men are found in the absence of women. They
dine, they play cards, they have musical meetings, they have
suppers, all in large parties, but without women" |
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Fanny Trollope, Domestic Manners
of the Americans.1832
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| "The company remained a very little while at table, and
spoke scarcely a word. They really did not give themselves time
to eat their food properly, but bolted it burning hot and not
half-chewed, although nobody had anything to do when the meal
was over. They seem to have got into the habit of regarding
every thing as business, and therefore to be performed with
the utmost possible dispatch" |
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A Lady's Journey Round the
World, Ida Pfeiffer, 1855
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